Vanessa Bryant posted an emotional message to her late husband Kobe Bryant on what would have been the NBA star's 42nd birthday.
"I’m mad I didn’t go first… It should’ve been me," she wrote in an Instagram post, saying she loved and missed her husband and daughter Gigi Bryant "more than I can ever explain".
Vanessa said she wished that she could make Kobe his favourite meal and a birthday cake, before adding that she missed his smile, kisses, hugs and laugh.
"I miss teasing you, making you laugh and bursting your bubble. I miss you sitting on my lap like my big baby that you are. I think about your tenderness and patience all the time. I think about everything you would do in situations to help me deal with everything thrown my way," she wrote.
"Our lives feel so empty without you and Gigi," she added. "I’ve been completely broken inside. As much as I want to cry, I put a smile on my face to make our daughters’ days shine a little brighter. I’m not the strong one, they are."
The basketball star died in a helicopter crash on January 26 along with his 13-year-old daughter and seven others while travelling to a youth basketball game in Ventura County.